I have just now realized something very important...that fear is not an enemy to be annihilated. Fearlessness is not a viable human condition, nor is it to be desired. I am not to banish all fear, I am to look it in the eye and come to an understanding with it. I am to feel fear, to recognize it, to call it by name...and go on with my life. I have been doing this so wrong! For decades I simply denied it. I pretended it wasn't there. When the night terrors took me, I used another method of dealing with it: I had read so often that you must face your fear, to stay in it until it has no more power. Guess what? Terror can last ALL NIGHT LONG. And when light breaks and I fall asleep, I dream, still in the arms of fear. There is no way I can overpower fear! There is no sitting with it until I break its hold. What occurs to me now to do is to treat it like a tantrumming child...be there with it, recognize it, make it feel safe, and go on with life. The thing is to not be overwhelmed and to not allow it to change what I want to do. I don't need to wallow in it, dance with it, or even think about it. I just need to allow it to come and, most importantly, GO without it impacting me. All this time I've felt like a failure because I haven't conquered and banished all fear! Wrong goal! Fear is a useful emotion and sometimes very appropriate. The true goal, for me, is to come face to face with the fear, take a deep breath, and go forward without it. I have a lot to think about...this is brand new ideation for me. And no haiku today..instead this quote (which is actually almost haiku).
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them…
~Rabindranath Tagor
*It's a Star Trek reference that represents realization and understanding in the Tamarian
culture.
culture.
No comments:
Post a Comment